I’m enjoyingmy first afternoon tea experience, here in London. Felt like an appropriate place to get familiar with the custom.

It’s white glove service, down to the server putting my white linen napkin on my lap for me. There’s a harpist playing behind me, the Thames is flowing lazily at my feet, I’m surrounded by sophisticated ladies in hats with feathers and veils, and I’ve just experienced what a scone is supposed to taste like. They’re delicious! I’m doing my best to look like I belong here.

Sadly, I also dropped the raspberry merengue in my lap, so now my black skirt is smeared with white merengue mush. To add insult to injury, I attempted to rescue the dessert as it was still falling and managed to splash most of my peach-white-tea (picked only 2 nights a year off a special bush in china and flown in within 24 hrs of harvest) on my cream colored top. It made quite the commotion (all that fine bone china clanking around in my clumsiness) and the whole restaurant turned to see the source of the noise. The distraction even caused the harpist to miss a string or two (I think, or maybe that was my heart pounding from embarrassment over her beautiful melodies).

So if you happen to spot me somewhere, and I look sophisticated, I promise you I’m faking it.